Military wife Rebbecca Hinton gave up her family, community and job all while battling the excruciating loss of her child during her husband's navy deployment.
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The Queanbeyan resident is one of dozens of defence spouses speaking out about the impact of deployment on mental health, ahead of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness (PTSD) Day on June 27.
Axon Property Group (Axon), a veteran-owned and operated business, has recently teamed up with national veteran support charity, Soldier On, to bring military families together for a series of talks this year. It comes as the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide decides its terms of reference.
Isolation is just part of the sacrifice hundreds of defence families make while loved ones serve the country.
In 2014, Rebbecca and Ben lost their twin son Maximus just a few days after he was born.
"Losing a child has been the hardest thing I've had to go through," Mrs Hinton said.
"Not having my partner in crime by my side during this time was unimaginable. I had no one to share my pain with and I struggled to find any joy in what I did. Even the things I enjoyed most in life felt like a chore."
Mrs Hinton gave up career choices and her community to relocate to Sydney with her husband Ben seven years ago.
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"I've had to deal with life as a 'single' parent while my husband was away. It breaks my heart every single time one of my children asks 'where's daddy'," Mrs Hinton said.
"I understand that military careers come with many unique demands and requirements that can be quite isolating, however moving all the time was extremely difficult. I was never able to find a home or community - I didn't belong anywhere.
"If it weren't for services like Axon Property Group, Soldier On and Open Arms, I wouldn't have been able to get through this."
Since then, the Hinton's have built a comfortable life in Canberra and urge other defence families to not lose hope.
"I know first-hand how debilitating it can be as a defence spouse but through community events such as Axon Property Group's family events and talks, we've found our people," Mrs Hinton said.
Rebbecca is one of the hundreds of military wives calling on the Royal Commission to consider defence families and the mental health implications involved with military deployment.
Co-Founder of Axon Property Group and former defence spouse, Tamara Turner said defence spouses helped carry the emotional weight of their partners left with long-term physical and mental scars from war zones.
"We wear a brave face and put the health of our loved ones first. I'd like to see more support available so those 'manning the fort' at home don't need to suffer in silence," she said.
"We're bringing defence families together through events to connect with likeminded people who understand the unique pressure we're under."
The business has raised over $40,000 to fund services provided by Soldier On, a national charity delivering veterans and their families with holistic support services including a range of mental health and wellbeing services, employment support and education programs, as well as activities focused on connections with family, friends and the broader community.
Joe Losinno, Acting Manager of Soldier On's Psychology Team, said therapy was often crucial to save military relationships and support family wellbeing.
"When one person in the family has PTSD, the whole family carries the wound. Spouses suffer 'relational distress' and tend to internalise this because they don't want to burden their partner or children," Mr Losinno said.
"If we can stabilise those relationships and provide a safe and nurturing environment for everyone, we can help more veterans recover.
"The normal military experience includes multiple separations, patterns of coming and going, and lots of different adjustments of status and intimacy.
"Military spouses are very resilient and very resourceful but it's ok to seek help. If you have PTSD in your household, you're carrying that burden - everyone deserves support."
If you need support, contact:
- Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
- Soldier On via https://soldieron.org.au/tag/mental-health/
For more information visit https://axonproperty.com.au/.
