Saia Faingaa snr was a walking contradiction as a rugby supporter.
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Even when twin sons Saia jnr and Anthony were playing for the Queensland Reds, he always wore a piece of ACT Brumbies clothing under a Reds jacket to remind them of where they started.
That's why Saia jnr feels like something will be missing at his Brumbies homecoming at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night.
"But this is what dad would have wanted, I know he would have been proud," Faingaa said.
"Every game is a big game for my family, he was always there. But he would just be happy that I'm getting back out there to do the job.
"The thing that hurts the most is that he didn't want to call us to tell us he was sick because he just wanted us to play well. He thought he could beat this."
The Brumbies' clash against the Otago Highlanders will be Faingaa's first game for the club in almost a decade after leaving Canberra in 2008 to join the Reds.
It will be an emotional moment when the Brumbies run on to the field wearing black armbands as a tribute to Saia snr after he died unexpectedly last month.
The news rocked the tight-knit Brumbies and the Faingaa family on the eve of the first game of the Super Rugby season.
It was even tougher to swallow when Faingaa's grandmother was diagnosed with liver cancer not long after and was being treated in hospital.
But rugby has always been the family's escape and now it's a chance for them to come together and remember the man who started their journey in the sport.
Saia snr, 61, was bitten by a mosquito while in Tonga. It developed into septicemia, an infection of the blood, and his organs started shutting down while in hospital.
Faingaa was packing his bag for the Brumbies' season opener against the Canterbury Crusaders when he got a call that would change his life.
"I didn't believe them, I thought it was a joke," he said, as his voice started to quiver.
"I thought dad was invincible. People thought he had a heart attack, but he passed away from a mosquito bite. It's still surreal. He didn't want to call because he just wanted us to focus [on the Crusaders].
"For me, it put some perspective in rugby and why I play. No matter what happens with rugby, these last three weeks have been pretty traumatic."
Twins Saia and Anthony and their younger brother Colby have all played for the Brumbies.
Saia snr was their biggest supporter from the moment they could hold a rugby ball.
He built goalposts in their backyard, found sponsors to buy boots for representative tournaments and travelled the world to watch his sons play the game he loved.
"Dad and my grandmother never, ever missed a game," Faingaa said.
"He was our biggest motivator and our harshest critic. He was always honest, he'd tell me if I was too fat or if I needed to shave. That's the man he was.
"If people didn't know my father, they would think he was delusional. He'd wear a Brumbies hat, a Reds jacket and Brumbies tracksuit pants. He loved the Brumbies and the [Canberra] Raiders.
"I think if he was here [on Saturday], he would be pretty happy to be wearing all Brumbies kit again."
The Brumbies granted the twins compassionate leave to be with their families and Faingaa flew to Vava'u in Tonga as part of his duties as the eldest son.
It took a toll on him mentally and news of his grandmother's illness added another unexpected twist to a tough return home.
But knowing his father got a chance to meet his son, also named Saia and born at the end of last year, before he died will be a lasting memory.
"He's named after my father, obviously. They got to meet each other, to me that's pretty unique and amazing because three months later he passed away," Faingaa said.
Faingaa made his Brumbies debut in 2006 before moving to the Reds and winning a Super Rugby title in Queensland in 2011.
He played the first of his 36 games for the Wallabies in 2010 and his dad got to watch him play at the 2011 World Cup.
He was set to make his comeback against the Crusaders when he got a call from Tonga and he's been leaning on the Brumbies coaches and players for support.
"You talk about culture, I've seen it first hand and actually relied on it," Faingaa said.
"This Brumbies family is real. All this talk the Brumbies could be kicked out [of Super Rugby], it's crazy because the feeling down here is phenomenal."
The hardest part is knowing he'll look into the stands and his dad won't be there.
"Is this game going to be special? Yeah, it will be. But dad just loved seeing us play anywhere," Saia jnr said.
"Even my grandmother was sitting in hospital and she was just telling us to go out there and play.
"My father would have said exactly the same thing."
