New Idea, ever the leader in how to write gossip items for the generation still getting over Princess Margaret's thwarted romance with a divorced commoner, has tackled drugs.
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Or *whispered* drugs.
For photos have emerged of Keith Urban, husband of Nicole Kidman, standing two decades ago near people holding some illegal substances.
NI's caption reads: "In this shocking photo from the '90s, Keith Urban is seen with friends smoking drugs through a 'bong'."
That's right, a 'bong', a drug instrument now introduced to the readers of New Idea, with ramifications we cannot predict.
Urban also has a very long "bob" haircut, a concept that does not need to be introduced to readers of New Idea, but which, Magwatch feels, may be the more criminal act in this old black-and-white photo.
In NW an expose on celebrities and their horrible, selfish and demanding ways has surfaced.
It is a "special report" and it features the sort of truly awful behaviour Magwatch never expected from some of the world's most loved, most talented, most beautiful, most adorable and, seemingly until now, most selfless and most caring, people on this planet. NW cruelly crushes this perception.
Global megastar Kim Kardashian, NW reports, is said to cry "Take my selfie!" to her underlings, whatever the hour, whatever the body-clinging Lycra one-piece.
NW reports Girls creator Lena Dunham tells people to "Hold my sandwich!", pop star Rhianna requests that her assistant sterilise her toilet and, Magwatch's favourite, Ben Stiller's Napoleonic plea: "Get me iced tea ... then sweeten it!"
Model Kate Moss keeps her personal assistant on their toes, and perpetually at the corner shop, by demanding: "I need cigarettes in every room!"
Which must be tricky when she capriciously attends an open-house summer tour at Buckingham Palace, boards a hot air balloon or visits a child care centre.
